


mipha's grace

by ksootaeho



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Mutual Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-02-23 07:35:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23941264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksootaeho/pseuds/ksootaeho
Summary: They say all artists are tortured. Does that apply to swordsmen too?
Relationships: Link/Mipha (Legend of Zelda), Link/Prince Sidon
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30





	mipha's grace

**Author's Note:**

> i know i'm 3 years and a lost fandom too late but...have some angst?
> 
> trigger warnings: LINK HAS PTSD AND ACTS ACCORDINGLY. this may include but is not limited to: random violent outbursts, blackouts, self harm, verbal outbursts, social isolation, a lot of crying.
> 
> starts out kinda fast but it's just for the setup and background lol don't get your hopes up they won't f*ck for at least another 3849234372 chapters
> 
> have fun and thank you for reading my trash heap xoxo

It’s almost like Link forgets who he is once he feels the sticky, humid air engulf his skin.

It’s like he’s  _ not _ supposed to be heading west across Hyrule to gain control of the third divine beast. He’s  _ supposed _ to be here, where the air is thick and he’s praised for his mediocre diving skill. He could stay in this place, trade his luminous stones for diamonds, collect all the sneaky river snails he needs, live off a diet of solely fish. He envisions it so clearly in his mind. It feels almost attainable.

_ Almost _ .

Zora’s Domain is his favorite place in all of Hyrule, he’s sure of it. Judging by his choice in romantic company a hundred years ago, it’s safe to say the Domain has always been within Link’s favor. He doesn’t know what it is about the place that makes him feel so content and safe, but he wouldn’t trade the feeling for anything else in the world.

Well…maybe he’d trade it for the feeling of being in the arms of a shark-man the size of a small tree.

It was never Link’s intention to get wrapped up in another romance while in the midst of trying to rid the world of Calamity Ganon  _ for a second time _ . It definitely wasn’t his idea for it to be another Zora either, and  _ definitely _ not his former lover’s brother. Actually, Link doesn’t really understand how he finds himself in the middle of situations like these, but he truly prays to the goddess that he stops sometime soon.

The feeling first stirred in him a few months before, when he would find any and all reasons to shrine travel back to Zora’s Domain, whether it be faking a need for supplies to “well I’m trying this new diet of chillfin trout…” Link really didn’t enjoy eating any sort of trout or bass, but Sidon had expressed extreme interest in cooking fish for him to eat whenever he visited the Domain, so naturally, Link became the prince’s guinea pig for all manner of fish recipes. Link’s frequent visits started out first as paying respects to Mipha’s statue out of guilt for her death, but he would never admit this to anyone, not even Sidon. He used his shallow excuses if he was spotted, but most nights there were spent with tears flowing down his cheeks and the feeling of his heart being punched out of his chest the longer he stared at Mipha’s blue form.

The guilt Link felt for her death after getting his memories of Mipha back was soul-wrenching. He felt guilty for enjoying her home, spending time with her people, swimming in the same waters as they did together a hundred years ago, but most of all he felt guilt for the things he felt so strongly around her brother. His guilt and shame had kept him from telling Sidon the truth for such a long time, even as they grew closer and closer, and spent more time together. Link couldn’t hold the burden of Sidon’s affection on top of Mipha’s death. He refused to...it was too much. Over time, however, Link grew selfish. His sole purpose for visiting the Domain became to see Sidon, and he spent less and less time with tears in his eyes looking at the depiction of his dead lover...and more time smiling, laughing, and experiencing pure happiness with Sidon.

There were so many opportunities for Link to express his (albeit, complicated) feelings for Sidon that he had honestly lost count of them. Whether it was when they were alone at night practicing dives in the tallest of waterfalls, to taking walks through the hills separating Zora’s Domain from the Akkala region; Link had plenty of time to voice how he felt. He simply...didn’t, and the guilt wasn’t even the only reason. The hero was afraid that Sidon would reject him, that Sidon didn’t feel the same way, that Sidon would change his demeanor around Link if he confessed. Link wasn’t willing to give up the happiness that being around Sidon brought him. He was too selfish.

“Link! How wonderful to see you, friend!” Sidon exclaims as the hero makes his way up the pathway from the south entrance to the domain. Link can’t help but smile as the prince nears him, large arms outstretched for an embrace. “Have you made any progress on the other divine beasts? Do you need a few nights’ rest?”

Link can’t help but break into a smile; Sidon’s welcomes were always so heartwarming for him. He feels relief pour over him the closer Sidon gets, and even more so when the prince embraces him in a tight -- albeit, slippery -- hug. “I’ve regained control of Vah Rudania, but that’s it,” Link murmurs into Sidon’s chest just before they separate and begin walking toward the center of the Domain. “I came to get supplies. I need another spear...mine broke. And I wanted to see if you have any new--um--crab recipes. My inventory is getting low.”

Crab this time. That’s a different excuse.

Still, Sidon doesn’t skip a single beat. He flashes his wondrous smile and takes Link’s arm into his large grip, pulling him toward the weapons’ shop. “I need a more durable Zora Spear to be made for our hero! And all the arrows of any kind he needs. I will pay you double for everything. My dear friend also needs a bed at the inn to rest in. How long are you staying, Link?”

Link freezes, stuttering out his words. “I-I...um...I don’t know...m-maybe for a few days?”

Sidon pats Link on the back, causing the smaller man to lunge forward a bit. “You can stay as long as you need, friend. I’m sure my people will be delighted to speak with you again!”

Nodding, Link begins to take what he needs from the stock of arrows. Ice arrows were truly what he was running low on, but he takes a large amount of each just to stick to his original story. He can feel Sidon looming over him, but it isn’t an uncomfortable feeling at all. Sidon makes Link feel safe, secure, at home...even if he’s a few feet taller and a lot more deadly than Link could even imagine being. There’s something about Sidon that’s incredibly soft, at least in Link’s eyes. The prince doesn’t give off a royal aura at all, but more of a family-oriented feeling, and he definitely considers Link to be as close as family. Link only wishes that weren’t so.

Making their way out of the weapons shop, Sidon brings link up to his own bed quarters, where out on the balcony overlooking the river is a small place to sit and cook. Link has been in this room countless times, and every time he can’t help but imagine waking up in the bed with sunlight pouring in through the luminous stone around him, Sidon on the balcony cooking something that smells delicious for breakfast. The daydream is always short-lived.

“You said you need new recipes, but are you hungry?” Sidon questions as they both sit down after Link takes off his vast weaponry stash. “We can cook a wonderful meal together. I’m sure you’re tired after traveling all this way.” The prince’s demeanor had shifted slightly; his perky disposition faded and his eyes were much softer, filled with sympathy, voice lower. He places a gentle hand on Link’s tattered knee. “It’s your choice, friend.”

Link can feel his fears lifting, his worries fading away. Sidon’s touch always has that effect.

The hero nods, softly, eyes closed. “I think a meal and some sleep will do me well.”

“Then a meal and some sleep are what you shall get,” Sidon replies, confidently, with a soft smile in tow. His hand lingers on Link’s knee for a moment before the Zora stands. “I will be back with ingredients for a wonderful crab recipe. Here’s some wine...please relax, my dear friend.”

Link is handed a rather full glass of wine and he almost tells Sidon no, but something in him was screaming at him to accept, to relax, to have fun while he’s there. “Thank you, Sidon. For everything.”

All Link gets in return is a nod and a smile, and Sidon is gone.

Afternoon turns to evening, evening turns to night, and the two are still sitting on the balcony, only the pair is extremely intoxicated. Link is in the middle of telling Sidon how he uses stealth potions to ambush Bokoblin camps, and the sounds they make when he uses shock arrows on them, and Sidon thinks it’s the most interestingly funny thing he’s ever heard, apparently.

“They are truly the definition of swine,” the prince adds, after a few more laughs. He pauses. “I can imagine it’s quite lonely on your journeys, with only Bokoblins and other monsters to keep you company.”

Link’s alcohol-ridden mind takes a few moments to process a response. He wants to say that he would rather have Sidon there with him, keeping him company, cooking him meals, holding him through stormy nights...but he doesn’t. “Why do you think I always come back here, where I have a friend?”

The hero sees a shy smile from Sidon, something he’s never seen before. He enjoys it, but almost as soon as it had come, it was gone.

“I am very glad you seek comfort here at the Domain. I think I would worry about you far too much, if not for your frequent visits.” Sidon sips a bit more from his cup, and stands, catching himself on a pillar to keep from stumbling. “I suppose I’m a bit more drunk than I thought…”

Link feels a heat creep into his cheeks and neck. Sidon’s stature was much more apparent now that he was standing, and the words he had spoken moments before had already sent Link into a whirlwind of emotions. He can’t help himself when his eyes rake down Sidon’s sleek form, admiring every muscle and fin he could see. Link could almost feel the heavy weight of Sidon on top of him, those sharp teeth sliding across his neck, claws digging into his hips—

“Link?” Sidon’s voice brings the hero back from his deep fantasies. “Are you just as intoxicated as I am, friend?”

Laughing to diffuse his thoughts, Link nods. “I-I guess I am. I should get to the inn…”

Sidon shakes his head. “Nonsense. The night is still young! Let’s go to the square and reminisce, friend.” The prince reaches for Link’s arm, but the hero jerks away, panic shocking him into sobriety.

Link stands up from his seat abruptly. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Sidon,” he tries to think of an excuse, his head filling quickly with halfway strung together sentences that don’t make sense. He needs  _ something  _ to get him out of this situation because the moment he lays eyes on Mipha’s statue in the square-- “I-I can’t stay here...I need to go...I have things to do, I-I...I just…”

The confusion in Sidon’s eyes sends a pang of guilt through Link, but it’s nothing compared to what he will feel if he laid eyes on that statue.

“I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol, but I am quite confused…” Sidon’s voice is just a bit slurred, but Link can tell he wants answers. Link doesn’t have them. He’s dug himself in a hole he can’t get out of, and now he’s frozen in a complete panic as Sidon nears him cautiously. “Are you alright, Link?”

Trying to recenter his breathing, Link steeles himself. He thinks it’s probably time to let his friend, at the very least, know what’s been happening to him since his memories of Mipha returned.

“I think we should talk…” he starts, letting out a long breath. “There are some things I haven’t told you.”

Ever the optimist, Sidon flashes his sharp smile as he sits on the stone floor. “If there’s ever a time to release secrets, it’s under the influence of wine, my dear friend.”

Link almost lets a tear fall. He can’t believe Sidon is taking all of this in stride...Link has never reacted that way around him and yet because Sidon cares so much about his friend, he’s being as positive as he can. Link truly does not deserve Sidon’s friendship, and certainly not his love.

Now that he has Sidon’s attention, the hero doesn’t even know where to start. He tries to gather his thoughts, but the alcohol is still muddling his mind even though his panic had sobered him up quite a bit. “I guess I’ll just try my best to explain it simply…” Link swallows the nervous lump in his throat, fingers fiddling with the straps on his tunic, eyes down and glued to the fire between them.

“When I regained some of my memories, even though I still don’t have all of them back yet, I got every last memory of Mi-- your sister. All at once.” Link pauses a moment, trying desperately to find a way to word the crippling pain he feels every time he thinks about her. The feeling was creeping on him even now. “It was incredibly painful...physically and mentally. I don’t remember who I am fully, but I remember her. I remember how she made me feel safe and loved, I remember the warmth I felt every time she would heal me, I remember the way she laughed when I would eat because I was so ‘uncivilized’ in her words...I remember loving her. I loved her so much, Sidon...and I killed her. She is dead because of  _ me _ , and now every time I’m near death and her spirit heals me, I’m reminded of that. Ganon killed her because I wasn’t there to protect her like I should have been. If she cared for me as much as she did, why did I leave her so often to trail after Zelda, when Zelda didn’t even want me around?” The tears had started to fall, but Link was too far in to care anymore. He let them flow, but didn’t dare look up toward Sidon. “I still d-don’t know who I am...o-or why I’m even alive, but I kn-know there’s this deep instinct within me to...to protect Zelda no matter the cost, and  _ that  _ is what cost M-Mipha her life.”

Silence. There’s no sound for a long while except a few soft sobs from Link, but he tries his best to keep them down. He can’t believe what he had just done, the secrets he had let out, the pain he had let Sidon see. He felt like an imbecile; why would Sidon care? Link was the reason the Zora prince’s sister was dead, Sidon should hate him and if he didn’t before, he definitely would now. Link needed to leave.

When Link moves to get up, Sidon is quicker. His clawed hand wraps all the way around Link’s forearm and before Link can react, his face is pressed against Sidon’s smooth abdomen. He can’t break free, but if he were honest with himself he didn’t want to. He wanted to stay here in Sidon’s embrace for as long as he could, but he knew he couldn’t. Knowing this, Link takes advantage of the moment and wraps his arms around Sidon as much as he can, letting himself relax as much as possible. More tears fall from his eyes to trail down Sidon’s muscled form. Link can’t stop them because he doesn’t know when he’ll get another opportunity like this to release everything inside of him, all the twisted emotions he holds within his seemingly small frame. Link didn’t know what to do with all of them, or even what to do with himself.

It seemed like both forever and only half of a moment before Sidon pulls himself away from Link and the hero scrambles to hide his red face streaked with tears. The Zora lowers himself to one knee, most likely to become eye level with Link.

“You have suffered much, young hero,” Sidon starts. His voice is low, and void of the chipper upbeat it normally has even in tumultuous situations. “I do not blame you for Mipha’s death. I never have, no matter what anyone in the Domain has said over the years. My father has not either; he knows of the sincerity you and my sister shared all those years ago. I am sorry you have been in so much pain, and that I have not noticed, friend.”

Link is unable to speak. He stares into Sidon’s bright eyes, mouth opening and closing with attempts at words, but nothing comes out. His head is swimming with responses, thoughts, and anxieties, but he just can’t seem to get them from his mind to his mouth.

Luckily, Sidon quite literally scoops him up, carrying Link back into the bedroom and out toward the square. “You need rest, my dear Link. I won’t take no for an answer.” The Hylian wants to protest, but can’t. His energy is depleted even though his mind is racing, and Sidon is right. He needs rest...so he lets Sidon take him to the inn and lie him on a bed.

When Sidon leaves, Link wants to call after him, but he can’t find his voice.


End file.
